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In Our Last Kardashian Parody…

…if you recall, Kris Humpries threatened Kris Jenner, also known as momanager, to go on the Today Show to talk to Matt Lauer about all the Kardashian dirty laundry, including the fact that they’re gold-digging fame whores and that they’re laughing their way to the bank…

"Kris, you'll be happy to know that I'm gonna be on the Today Show with Matt Lauer on Monday. If I don't have that ring in my hands by then, I'm gonna talk."

 …which caught mom Kardashian with egg on face…

So, it should be no surprise that Kimmy high-tailed it over to Minnesota this week-end.  Will she give him back his ring?  That is the question…

“Kris, I’m so sorry I filed for the divorce without discussing our marriage over with you. I want us to try to really work it out. The divorce isn’t final for another 6 months, so why don’t we just date for a while and we’ll take it one day at a time. How does that sound to you, Kris? Please. Please. Please”
“”Kris, this is just another Kardashian manipulation and ploy to try to keep the ring and keep you from talking to the media. Don’t fall for it. Take my advice, take the ring and date her for 6 months. Don’t fall for their shit again. You’re a smart boy and you’ve already been taken for a ride. Just take the ring, and then play.”
“Kim, I hear you, but I will only call off my interview with Matt Lauer if you give me the ring right now. If, after you give me the ring, you still want to talk about our relationship, I will listen and I’m interested, partially.”
.”See, I told you it didn’t work, mom. He’s onto us. I have to give him the ring right now or he’s gonna talk”
“Hmmm. He’s not as stupid as we thought.”
“Way to go, Kris. Now follow through and get the ring back and don’t sign anything giving your rights away. Don’t let Kris Jenner get away with calling you an Indian Giver, either. That was just another clever ploy and the Indian’s are pretty upset over the whole thing. They’re calling the Kardashian’s greedy bigots.”
“THERE!!! There’s your damned ring and I don’t ever want to see you again. I never liked you. N”EVER!”
“See, Kris. Now you’ve gotten a good look at their true colors. They were just trying to manipulate you to keep the ring”
“Thank you, Lady Brooks. That’s exactly what my mom said, too.”

Your friend,

 

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