Douche-bag Peter Thomas

"Why you callin' me a douche-bag, Lady Brooks? I'm a handsome and smart man. I ain't no douche-bag!"

"Peter, you're a douche-bag and everybody, except Cynthia, seems to know this. I'm just trying to help her get her head back on straight, Peter, and you are a douche-bag, regardless of what you say...."

"What do you mean you closed your club last week and you can't afford to pay for the wedding, Peter? Am I supposed to cancel the wedding?"

"Babe, now I realise I shouldn't worry your pretty little head right before the wedding, but you've got enough money to pay for it, don't you?"

"You look beautiful. Glad that you actually married me. Your mom did find the marriage license, right?" whew...I really duped her!

"Peter, everybody knows you're just using my sister because she's such a kind soul. Well, I'm not buying any of it, you're a user and a douche-bag and I can't wait until she divorces your sorry little ass."

"I don't know why everybody hates me. I haven't done anything that would make that happen. It's not like I'm a gold-digger or anything"

"People, I just can't help it. Whenever I think of Peter I think of what a douche-bag he is. Is that the way you think, too?"

Peter Thomas/douche-bag, Peter Thomas/douche-bag.

Your friend,


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