Meet the Beverly Hills Characters

NEWS FLASH.  Prince Harry was just spotted in Beverly Hills.

Prince Harry is on the prowl in Beverly Hills. He was spotted lunching with Lisa and was all teary-eyed when she told him Pandora was already taken. He wanted a proper British girl, but someone who was a California girl at heart. (We think Lisa fixed him up with Brandi, or maybe Taylor because he likes big lips...or is it boobs?) When Prince Harry shows up in the parody, somebody needs a prince to come to their aid...or maybe they're gold-digging. Ya, that's probably what it is...eh hmmm.

Here, Adrienne Maloof is a quiet observer, an analytic, just being herself and taking in the sights and conversations going on around her. She’s a smart cookie, so she thinks very carefully before she interjects, except to say…”but you know…” In other words, she’s thoughtful.

Sometimes, Adrienne is shocked beyond words and before she speaks in such a situation, she might say something like "...hold on a minute...". Don't be fooled by this expression. Adrienne doesn't put up with much and she's a natural peacemaker and negotiator. She bickers a tad with her husband, but who wouldn't?

This is Camille Grammer, now famous, thanks to Kelsey who got her a spot on the series as a going away present. The humiliation of going through a rather public divorce and, perhaps, watching the first season of the series and seeing how she came off may have prompted her to only show her nice side, but we'll have to see. Camille is a narcissist and, quite often, they are incapable of hearing someone else's point of view.The real Camille is a very beautiful woman and it's very, very nice that she has a lot of money because she could just be intolerable without it. Frankly, we wouldn't want to know her if she didn't have money, as it does tend to define her.

This means run. Really fast. The witch is back. She really seems to have calmed down, but this is just an act. The real Camille will show up soon and that's when everyone in the room should run.

Taylor Armstrong, almost always looks like this, or shall we say that her lips frequently arrive before she does. Known as the Beverly Hills Wannabe, she's had a rough year.

This is a warning to be careful because another flip-out is coming. Taylor's hyper-sensitive and absolutely loves being the center of attention. She's known for ruining nearly every single event with her "it's all about me" drama. Poor Taylor. We just wished she knew better than that...but she's not really of money and she's not really from Beverly Hills. We're too scared to ask where she's from. Would you ask her? Please?

Could this be the look of a mean girl or a smart wife? Kyle Richards carries a lot of the weight of Kim Richards on her shoulders because that's what sisters do. Some say she's mean. Others say she's nice. We like Kyle. We think she's doing a pretty good job of managing her marriage, her children and her large network of genuine friends. She's not the richest girl in Beverly Hills, but she's one of the happiest. We know this for a fact.

Kim Richards, as herself, is often seen in a frazzled state and has been accused of being a "druggie" (it could be excess adrenaline). She is frequently late to events, or missing altogether, but she is kind-hearted and a good mother who loves her family. A child actress, she is Kyle's sister and the pair of them are known to be fiercely protective. And mean.

This does not mean "talk to the hand". Kim Richards is known to say "I don't really need this in my life" and tends to use the hand as a means of self-protection. Kim is non-confrontational and if you try to engage her in a confrontation, she will often freeze, or shake her head "no".

Dana Wilkey looks like this when she's making nicey-nice, aka Brown-Nosing. She is developing a reputation for this. She's a party planner, but no one from the cast seems to use her. Hmmm. We like Dana. She brown-noses us, too.

Dana Wilkey is often trying too hard and, therefore, seems inauthentic whilst she is boasting about one thing or another. She has a son who is one of those Beverly Hills geniuses. Really.

Brandi Glanville, frequently engages in self-deprecating behaviours referring to herself as a "slut' and "trailer park" trash. We don't know where she comes from, but we're sure she's neither of those things. Well, actually, we're not really sure, although we think that Kim and Kyle are sure.

Lisa Vanderpump is known as the voice of reason. She has elegant taste and her home and restaurants, Sur and Villa Blanca, are very nicely appointed. She tends to walk away from drama and simply will not engage in it. Don't take her for a dummy, though. Of all the housewives, she's got bank.

Her husband, Ken Todd, has been a gallant supporter and business partner. He is often seen holding their little boy Jiggy, who has very bad table manners, but is still just as cute as a button. Jiggy's outfits often match the pair of them and occupies his days at the restaurant, Villa Blanca, when mummy is there, otherwise, he's in Ken's arms.

Kevin Lee, Lisa's event planner, is oh-so "she-she-she". We say that instead of "chi-chi-chi" because we're not really sure if he's really a he. Does that make sense? When we see him in the parody, something is, well...rather flamboyant, shall we say.

When civility or the voice of reason are required you'll see Lisa's pink pumps. That means things are getting out of control. Don't be fooled by anybody else's pink shoes. Lisa has a teeny tattoo. See?

When we see this picture in the parody, it means that Bravo Andy is just loving what he's seeing, or worse, he's had his evil hand in something. He, above all people, especially loves the drama. That's why he created this whole mess to begin with...he's really quite the drama queen. Sorry Andy.

This is Lady Brooks, the snarky blogger and the creator of the Lady Brooks Parody, who likes to comment on all these characters. She likes the people, just isn't crazy about some of the things they do. That's okay...they don't always like what she does, either. Can you blame them? Chi-chi-chi.

Now that you know everyone’s take on things, we’ll be able to start our snarky parodies.  From time-to-time we may see different characters come into the mix and we’ll introduce them as they come, just don’t be fooled because one of the characters could be wearing a different mask.  Things are quite different in the world of parody.  Someone thought the countess was seen in Beverly Hills lunching with Brandi Glanville.  Oh, wouldn’t that be a trip? (I’m already seeing pink pumps!  Lord help me.)

Get ready for some fun.

Your friend,

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